Friday, October 30, 2009

an excerpt from my novel

Suducas eyes glazed black his soul tormented with the emotion he felt this weakness was passionate and illusive she was his need, he was unquenchable for her. his was an immobilized heart cold,frozen his eyes wear black and cruel. what was this emotion how could it be so cruel, distant, sweet,warm and frozen was it love or mere desire? Was the kiss he had with her love for him or her love for the man he was pretending to be? Was he the enemy or was he the hero the lines were so blurred now and the torment ate away at his soul as a flower withering without sunlight. The hole that was once his heart now beat but the sound was sad and slow reflecting the many possibilities like stairs with no direction guiding him to no wear. His world was inside out and upside down. The cold emotion rushed through him he felt it in his vines. The sound of learia’s heart faded. Without her heart beat there was nothing. A growl erupted from his throat tortured and aggravated he was not supposed to love if that was what this was... he was not capable of love. Yet here his eyes brimmed with tears with the weight of what he’d done to his love on his soul and his hands. he could bear the cold empty evil no longer and he closed his eyes as he dissolved back into his name sake a shadow of evil completely lifeless mimicking what the source did an obscurity every vestige of what he once was overcome by the power of the maker of the shadow. Absorbed and fully controlled, connected to the source he had struggled to be apart from.

1 comment:

  1. Edit your work mercilessly. here is my edited version.

    Suducas eyes glazed black, seer-signs that his soul had fallen into torment, weakened with the passion and need for the elusive she, the fire that burned him his own desire that could never be satisfied with any flesh but hers. and so frozen with desire, he turned his heart cold, let his eyes turn to a black freeze, for there are many modes of blackness, and cruel can be a cold cold black.

    etc etc.

    Rework rework, perfect perfect, if you wish to shine as a god you must practice.