This uncertainty

We stand at the sea of uncertainty the water gathering under or feet the indecisive tide lulls in and out. As we look into the depth of the sea. Clam but turbulent waters brood for an awaking. Questioning weather to press forward into the cool water or stay at the edge away from uncertainty and danger. Longing for the cool refreshing relief of the water against my skin. Yet these fears this uncertainty holds me stead fast. I gaze into the unfathomable deeps the ocean waves immeasurable as this silent emotion. Our future vast; unseen as the endless horizon of water. Clouds foreboding with the gray of on coming rain. The sent of salt and sea cloud my senses. The breeze it tugs at my soul reminding me of this deep blue reflection of silent solace. Yet my feet remain unmoved my body stead fast as I gaze into the future of an oncoming storm. I shall stand at the edge of the storm and feel the rain revel in its delicious refreshing relief. I bare the weight of the weaves as they press against my soul. On the edge of uncertainty I press forward enveloping my soul in the bliss of cool refreshing waves of ocean before the tide of the storm.

Lost admist a normal day

feeling as though my soul is sliding downward aimlessly into empty oblivion lost in a vastness that echo’s silence isolated like a distant burning star in the vast universe, spinning uncontrollably inside the odyssey that keeps expanding my voice like a breeze whispering through the trees tangible yet invisible enveloped in silence I hear only the whisperings of my inaudible words as I dissipate into the waves of the cosmos I contemplate weather my fate shall be that of a star shinning brightly viewable by the masses yet forever distanced from all that is tangible. Sobering and sorrowful I accept my fate as the inevitable expansion of space, as the undying tide of time ebbs to the edges of this reality. My soul slips unnoticed into silence a forgotten echo of a star that illuminated so intensely lost in the oblivion of a vast universe

My Family

Take me and let me in don't break me and shut me out I watched my self catch on fire and now I'm dancing in the ashes this is what they call a broken soul. As the days pass by I grow colder my soul is in a coma yet none of you can tell. suffocation no breathing this is my last resort. Dose any one ever fell the same. I what to be alone tonight i just need a little breather.I called you up because it's been long enough.... You broke me you shut me out gain and again all I wanted was you forgiveness your love I can't go on living this way... yet that is all I have the cold bitterness of the silence you share. I've got one confession suffering from love depredation ... I just what to be love just long to be loved take the past burn it up and let go carry on I try to never given I'll try to never give up. Yet ever time I get up they push me back down I've fallen harder I feel like I'm falling apart. I swear I'll never cry so now I'll just say good bye with all my love and hope you understand that no matter how many times you break me and shut me out I'll always love you even though it breaks my soul these are my shackles that I carrier

The Picture

In this optical illusion we call life Do you see the faces facing each other, do you see the the vase that stands alone we each of us see what we want to see. Can you say you see the hole picture? What peaces have you put together? We only understand what we want to understand, we choose what it is we see. To be the one who see both unequivocally is the one who sees through the illusion through the world's fog. understanding how we see the world and how others see the world in turn gives eyes to see the why and the what when you understand the why you understand the what.Their is no reason only pain. Pain inflicted and pain received multiple colored truths meant to deceive us all including my self an illusion to hide my pain and illusion to hide my face all an illusion to hide away.

The theater face

Tragedy and Comedy, euphoric and desolate no one knows this wandering soul. A path that leads nowear echoing of constaint tragedy. The other path I fear is filled with constant pain. Ripped this heart out yet their is no pain Just an empty hole wear I should feel. Filled with so much emptiness I guess it's all I know comic how we inflict are own pain. Hidden behind a mask a theater face for all to see the world will never know what is truly me. Inside this hole that echo's fear I she the ripples of hope quietly disappear. lost inside the darkness I see a distant light as I fall deeper into night. I lost connection with the world and faded into a silence within nothing left but coldness to sooth this isolate soul comic that I brought my own tragedy. Behind the face that smiles behind the tragedy is fear of truth fear of unknown. Play a part you are who you wish to be to play yourself so vulnerable for the world to see. So I push away and put on my theater face waiting, longing for the one who looks for my soul that's hiding.

A heart drenched in red wine

I drench this unknown feeling in sultry bliss a taste of unaware an awaken from self :no guilt, no blame, no shame. I hold my soul in contempt this isolation a bitterness directed at myself. I am nothing more than a soft touch nothing more than a sultry kiss nothing more than a woman. A women I am, but in this moment a desire to be anything but what I must be. I seethe with anger hands off me I am not this I am not desire and lust. I am passion and quite a sensitivity that grows. I'm am words and knowledge entwined into a song a lullaby a nurturing that sows. A midnight confession invoked by the red sultry taste of unaware a day were I'm not a women not desire not beauty just ordinary me. Soul is what I desire to crave. Thease eyes a window inside. Please don't tell me I'm beautiful cause I'll think it's a lie. Desires, your sultry kiss show me that love is not about this. If love be desire passion and lust my heart is filled with sorrow distaste and disgust. A closed door no entrance to love understanding selflessness is the meaning of true love.

The real me

trapped inside this body they perceive me as their enemy yet deep inside I know that I'm the same as I will always be. This puppet-master he holds the strings. This involuntary compulsion to do these things for they pull the strings. I am as an animal caged I howl in rage to be free this involuntary cage. I am not what you see, what I've done can't be me. I cling to my humanity distaste for what I'm imposed to do yet some wear inside I'm still simply plain old me.