Italian coat

I tried on that authentic Italian coat today midnight black and luxuriously expensive for a moment wrapped in fur I glimpsed the future that could be….. My emotions adrift in a tremulous sea of uncertainty I look into your eyes I know that you love, yet I took off that ring and I gazed into my heart and I pulled apart the pieces so I could see you smile, I sleep alone tonight as I realize my own heart ache…to hold a passion in your hand and see it slip away like sand dissolving away as the foam of wake I close my eyes tight and do not breath pleading never to feel again the silent cry of my heart echoes around me as twilight creeping over the earth I stand at the shore watching the real me drifting far away in a endless blue sea I can’t sleep again I’ve been hiding from myself a least the pain tells me I’m alive I breath in passion exhale despair

an excerpt from my novel

Suducas eyes glazed black his soul tormented with the emotion he felt this weakness was passionate and illusive she was his need, he was unquenchable for her. his was an immobilized heart cold,frozen his eyes wear black and cruel. what was this emotion how could it be so cruel, distant, sweet,warm and frozen was it love or mere desire? Was the kiss he had with her love for him or her love for the man he was pretending to be? Was he the enemy or was he the hero the lines were so blurred now and the torment ate away at his soul as a flower withering without sunlight. The hole that was once his heart now beat but the sound was sad and slow reflecting the many possibilities like stairs with no direction guiding him to no wear. His world was inside out and upside down. The cold emotion rushed through him he felt it in his vines. The sound of learia’s heart faded. Without her heart beat there was nothing. A growl erupted from his throat tortured and aggravated he was not supposed to love if that was what this was... he was not capable of love. Yet here his eyes brimmed with tears with the weight of what he’d done to his love on his soul and his hands. he could bear the cold empty evil no longer and he closed his eyes as he dissolved back into his name sake a shadow of evil completely lifeless mimicking what the source did an obscurity every vestige of what he once was overcome by the power of the maker of the shadow. Absorbed and fully controlled, connected to the source he had struggled to be apart from.

A silent wish

A yearning for you to purse me unyielding in your resolve consuming in your desire for me. unfaltering in your devotion eyes ablaze with unquenchable fire longing for a touch of skin inflamed into passion seeping throughout my veins as a a poison to my soul. lost and adrift in ecstasy that flows from your finger tips.yearn for me in a silent night. cry for me in your soul, crave me next to your skin.These lips quiver imaging your kiss. surrender to oblivion of selflessness as you become my one and only. this is my wish of love

Questions

How can I decide what’s right or wrong when this sense of you is clouding up my mind, how did we get here I supposed to know you so well, the truth I see is hiding in your eyes it lingers on your tongue like the taste of spearmint this hunger for you is boiling in my blood. You assume that I do not see what kind of man you are I wonder if you’re a man at all or something more. I will figure out this mystery on my own find the answers to the questions you will not answer, I’m screaming by myself a silent yell calling to me don't you see what you’ve done to me, I see something in you it might kill me, I think I know but I want it to kill me anyway, I want to be in only your arms.

This uncertainty

We stand at the sea of uncertainty the water gathering under or feet the indecisive tide lulls in and out. As we look into the depth of the sea. Clam but turbulent waters brood for an awaking. Questioning weather to press forward into the cool water or stay at the edge away from uncertainty and danger. Longing for the cool refreshing relief of the water against my skin. Yet these fears this uncertainty holds me stead fast. I gaze into the unfathomable deeps the ocean waves immeasurable as this silent emotion. Our future vast; unseen as the endless horizon of water. Clouds foreboding with the gray of on coming rain. The sent of salt and sea cloud my senses. The breeze it tugs at my soul reminding me of this deep blue reflection of silent solace. Yet my feet remain unmoved my body stead fast as I gaze into the future of an oncoming storm. I shall stand at the edge of the storm and feel the rain revel in its delicious refreshing relief. I bare the weight of the weaves as they press against my soul. On the edge of uncertainty I press forward enveloping my soul in the bliss of cool refreshing waves of ocean before the tide of the storm.

Lost admist a normal day

feeling as though my soul is sliding downward aimlessly into empty oblivion lost in a vastness that echo’s silence isolated like a distant burning star in the vast universe, spinning uncontrollably inside the odyssey that keeps expanding my voice like a breeze whispering through the trees tangible yet invisible enveloped in silence I hear only the whisperings of my inaudible words as I dissipate into the waves of the cosmos I contemplate weather my fate shall be that of a star shinning brightly viewable by the masses yet forever distanced from all that is tangible. Sobering and sorrowful I accept my fate as the inevitable expansion of space, as the undying tide of time ebbs to the edges of this reality. My soul slips unnoticed into silence a forgotten echo of a star that illuminated so intensely lost in the oblivion of a vast universe

My Family

Take me and let me in don't break me and shut me out I watched my self catch on fire and now I'm dancing in the ashes this is what they call a broken soul. As the days pass by I grow colder my soul is in a coma yet none of you can tell. suffocation no breathing this is my last resort. Dose any one ever fell the same. I what to be alone tonight i just need a little breather.I called you up because it's been long enough.... You broke me you shut me out gain and again all I wanted was you forgiveness your love I can't go on living this way... yet that is all I have the cold bitterness of the silence you share. I've got one confession suffering from love depredation ... I just what to be love just long to be loved take the past burn it up and let go carry on I try to never given I'll try to never give up. Yet ever time I get up they push me back down I've fallen harder I feel like I'm falling apart. I swear I'll never cry so now I'll just say good bye with all my love and hope you understand that no matter how many times you break me and shut me out I'll always love you even though it breaks my soul these are my shackles that I carrier